A collection of things i always wish to say to you 

Conor I want to thank you for everything we have been through I know I've said the same things so many times before but you met me at the worst time in my life I hadn't made plans for my future and I didn't see myself trusting anyone to love me ever again because I honestly didn't see a future for myself at that stage I didn't want a future I fought everyday with living and everything was going to end for me but then I text you that night because I was lonely(and you were pretty hot) and for some reason I didn't want to stop texting you I'm still unsure what it was about you that compelled me to stay and continue to try and try again but from those few early messages I knew you were special and for awhile I felt okay and as our relationship progressed I was hit with an emotion I hadn't felt before I was so drawn to everything you did my soul felt as though it aligned with yours and for a moment I felt as though someone cared someone cared about me even if you didn't feel the way I did I was hoping to keep that friendship I remember the feeling of getting ready to go meet you at night and for those first few weeks it was just us under the moonlight and to this day you'll always remind me of the moonlight because I'm reminded of just me and you then you tried to kiss me and I'll admit I was terrified to kiss you back because I was scared I'd hurt you and I regret that moment a lot I should have kissed you sooner but then you kissed me in the parkthat night and I remember it so well my heart felt as though it was about to burst I'm so glad we had those times together and I still get the exact same feeling in my chest every time we kissed after that because I still had such a massive crush you I want to thank you for bringing my spark back and letting me live to see what love felt like I honestly couldn't have done any of what I've done today without you without you knowing you're the reason I sat my leaving cert and actually had the will left in me to start my nursing course it all falls back to you because without you being here for me every step I wouldn't be here I don't know what would have come of me if I didn't have you I am forever greatful for everything you have done for me and that only the start of how I truly feel I could go on for hours about the rest of the details but you wouldn't read it all..